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Do you think there will be, or should be, big changes between now and 2050? Do you think we’re moving fast enough? Are you happy with the way it’s all playing out?

Yes: You lucky bugger. It must be great to be in your bubble. But your naive apathy is an insult to your ancestors and your species. (Either that or you’re doing something astonishing in a nanotech / energy lab.)

No: Then remember that power belongs to those who take action. Get out there and make your presence felt. It’s your world, too, and a bunch of apathetic cunts are fucking it up. This absolutely WILL NOT DO. A future is too important to waste. Learn what to do next. Talk. Share. And don’t waste time worrying about the shouts from the sidelines. They’ll get with the programme, eventually.

Unfortunately we don’t really have much choice in the matter, but it seems altogether more cheery to face it with a grin and a twinkle in the eye, doesn’t it?

Doctors and nurses are sexy and lovely and wonderful and can do magic, and like everyone they love a good massage and some tender love-making.

What they don’t value so much is being fucked in the arse by a different politician every few years; and frankly it’s not something I like to watch either. In fact the only person getting their kicks is Andrew Lansley and the queue of rapist fucks behind him who intend to privatise the NHS bit by bit as they break down its will to live. Economic slavery through the medium of gang rape. Classy.

“We have to cut the budget from £100bn to £80bn” he says. Ok gotcha. Just one question, though. Why? Is it just about that? Because if it is, you have no role being in charge of the NHS. Sorry, but you’ve clearly missed the entire fucking point of being in charge. Your role, Mr Lansley, is to create the best lives for as many people as possible. You are in a unique position to restructure things to prepare us for the future of healthcare. Of course the NHS will have to change to do that, but you’re an old-school one-trick pony who seems pitifully ill-equipped to be able to do this job. “Competition!” is not the answer to everything, you ideological fuckwit.

Let’s be clear: the NHS is not, not will it ever be, a business. That’s why it’s centrally funded from taxes. If it worked as a viable business, America would have good healthcare. It doesn’t. They let people die in lobbies for lack of sufficient money to pay for treatment or insurance.

The NHS is a service we pay for because we have compassion for people in need. And when it comes to that we don’t really mind how much money it costs, because it’s what we value as important. If you don’t get that, get a new job.

But you’re probably still worried about the money thing, so let’s work together on this. You want to save £20bn. Ok. Here’s a list of expensive things we WOULD like to watch you fuck in the arse, followed in brackets by what you’ll save by doing it: high speed rail ( £8bn), nuclear deterrents ( £26bn), tax evaders ( £4-6bn on Vodafone alone), and not forgetting those perennial bastards: bankers ( £600bn).

Focus on your arse-fucking skills, Mr Lansley, and you might turn out to be the kind of ruthless bastard we’ve been longing for. Just… keep your hands off the NHS.

Write to a Lord, and / or sign a petition, then I suggest you go find someone who works in the NHS, or a patient, and offer them a nice massage. I think they’ll need one this week.

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Oh Mr.Epson you are fucking testing me today… If I’m not printing in black I don’t give a flying fuck if the magenta ink has run out. And even if I did want a magenta letter, how about giving me the choice to print it in another colour? If you’re smart enough to know it’s run out, you’re smart enough to select from another fucking cartridge, right?

Just print my fucking file you god damned motherfucking arsehole printer. Fuck you, Epson. And the fuck all the rest of those ink-pimping bastard print companies.

This is such a fucking good idea and so very fucking awesomely powerful that you’re going to have to stand waaaay back when you realise how big the thing you’re about to do is. Is that sentence even in English? I don’t know and I don’t care. I’m disoriented by the brilliance of what’s close to happening.

We already have Genocide, Crimes Against Humanity, War Crimes and Crimes of Aggression, right? And they work. We know because the UN guys turn up in blue hats. What if we could add Ecocide to those? Wouldn’t it be fucking cool to see the companies getting rich of tar sands and damming projects being convicted for their barbarism. At last we’d collectively say “you’ve been able to use the excuse of ‘just doing your job’, but now we’re changing the rules. As from tomorrow, all dickish behaviour puts you in the same dock as Milosevic.” All government support would be stopped, all pension funds would be shifted, and over night we’d suddenly have a chance of surviving beyond the 22nd century with a viable planet.

Update

There is a new EU petition site to sign!!

http://www.endecocide.eu/

Please sign and share!

Here’s a petition to get this topic shouted about more loudly. Please give it all your votes.

Ecocide the extensive destruction, damage to or loss of ecosystem(s) of a given territory, whether by human agency or by other causes, to such an extent that peaceful enjoyment by the inhabitants of that territory has been severely diminished.

Polly Higgins submission to the UN Law Commission. Learn more about ecocide

Something is simple or complex depending on the way we choose to describe it. Complex problems do not require complex solutions, they require simpler thinking.

I think Edward de Bono said that, but if he didn’t it’s the sort of thing he would have said. Mind you, I’ll bet at least one person per year has said something pretty similar for the last … ooh… 15,000 years?

You’d think we’d have learnt by now, wouldn’t you?