This is a fucking great lyric: “The cars in the church yard are shiny and German – distinctly at odds with the theme of the sermon.”

That, my friends, is Mr Neil Hannon of The Divine Comedy. It tells you pretty much everything you need to know about organised religion: it’s 99% self-protecting tribal cult, and 1% universal love.

If Jesus hadn’t risen from the dead he’d be spinning is his grave so much we could strap a few magnets to his skeleton, stick him inside a coil, and power a few large cities.*

* If you don’t get this joke, you didn’t pay enough attention at school.